


three wine glasses too many

by tea_at_twilight_time



Series: tma soft omo fics [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Bathing/Washing, Fluff, Hangover, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Omorashi, Trans Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Wetting, also rinny if you see this hi! maybe don't read this?? hadfslkasdjf, content warning silly, drunk jon is basically a toddler haldfkjasdlkf, jon is ace and he loves his hot boyfriend thank you goodnight, jon is left amiguous though, like there's nothing super explicit but still. hh, some minor agere elements and a discussion of nappies, this is silly. this is a very silly fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25214602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tea_at_twilight_time/pseuds/tea_at_twilight_time
Summary: Jon and Tim's date goes awry. At least this time it goes better than the couch incident.
Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker
Series: tma soft omo fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826770
Comments: 11
Kudos: 56





	three wine glasses too many

**Author's Note:**

> i hate writing summaries!!!! so much!!!! AAAAAAA. 
> 
> anyway okay listen i know there's other things i should be writing but i got this idea and i was mildly distressed about the lack of nonsexual omo in this fandom anyway so i did this! don't get me wrong i don't have anything against watersports/sexual omorashi but i generally don't tend to enjoy explicit content and i wanted more. soft wetting here. hasdlfkjasdlkf. i'm also in a jontim mood so enjoy i guess aaaaa??

“Jon, you okay?” 

Jon giggles, wiggling his hips and stretching a hand forward in Tim's direction. “Yeah, ‘m goooood!” he sings, the wine glass in his grasp dangerously close to spilling. 

Tim raises his eyebrows, reaching forward and sliding his hand into Jon’s. “Are you sure? Because you sure are squirming a lot. Remember last time we had wine?” 

“Mmmm,” Jon hums, tugging Tim closer. “C’meeeere...I wanna cuddle...” 

“Jon. Hon,” Tim says firmly, even as he obligingly takes a step closer. “Do you remember the last time you were drunk and you peed on my couch?” 

Jon huffs, rolling his eyes and clumsily putting his glass on the side table. It clicks against it with a funny noise, and he’s very tempted to do it again. He ultimately decides against it, because he’s at least self aware enough to know that would probably end with a stain on the carpet, but it is enticing. 

Tim sighs. “Christ, this was a bad idea. And here I thought wine was romantic...” 

Jon hums, his eyes fixed on his half empty glass when his bladder suddenly pulses. He groans, rubbing his thighs together to try and relieve some of the tension. He looks over at Tim with his bleary, half lidded gaze, and he laughs at the unamused stare he’s met with. 

“Jon?” 

Right. Right, he’d asked him a question. Jon’s brow furrows, trying to remember what that was. 

Tim sighs heavily. “Jon, if you pee on my couch again I’m going to be really mad.” 

Oh! Right. That. Yes. “I won’t!” he promises emphatically, even as he squeezes his thighs tighter. 

“I don’t believe you, sweetheart,” Tim says, jabbing him in the hip. “How about you go to the bathroom, okay?” 

Jon frowns, and he tugs Tim closer to him. “Nooo...” he moans, shifting his hips. “Cuddles...” 

The weight in his lower abdomen _aches_ , but he doesn’t want to leave the couch, he’s too comfortable. Besides, he wants to cuddle his boyfriend, dammit! His very warm, sturdy boyfriend...he shoves his face into Tim’s chest with a giggle, stretching his arms over his shoulders. He has to get out of his seat to do it, but that’s okay. Hanging off of Tim is really fun. 

“What are you doing, angel?” Tim asks with a huff of a laugh. Then, he scoffs, apparently remembering he’s supposed to be annoyed. His voice turns firm as he says, “You need to go potty, Jon.” 

Oh. Jon likes that. He giggles, looking up at Tim for a moment, before face planting back into his sternum. “Say that ‘gain,” he says. 

“Say _what_ again?” Tim asks, his chest rumbling. “That you have to go potty?” 

Jon giggles harder. In fact, he giggles so hard that he can feel some tension in his bladder release, his underwear dampening slightly. He grimaces, pulling away to look at his crotch, trying to see if it’s visible. “Uh oh...” 

“What uh oh?” Tim’s voice is stern, and he groans, rubbing his face before grabbing the crook of Jon’s elbow. “C’mon, we're getting you to the bathroom.” 

“Gotta go potty...” Jon says softly, sliding his hand in between his thighs and squeezing. 

“Yup.” 

Jon hums, trying his best not to pee on himself right then and there. He’s not really succeeding. He takes about three steps forward before he feels himself leaking against his palm, so, naturally, he moves it. He doesn’t wanna get pee on his hand, that’s gross. 

Ah, he should probably alert Tim about the situation. He stops in his tracks and tugs on his hand, pointing at his pants when Tim turns to look at him. 

“I—“ he starts, but he’s quickly interrupted by Tim yelling and dragging him faster toward the bathroom. 

“Oh goddammit! C’mon let’s get you over—Christ—“ 

Jon whines, trying to keep up with Tim’s pace even as his legs shake. It’s all coming out of him so _fast_ , the wet patch on his crotch quickly growing, trailing down his inner thighs. 

“‘s warm,” he coos, his eyelids fluttering shut. He stops where he’s standing, getting caught up in the feeling of relief, a pleasant feeling spreading through his tummy. 

“Jon...” Tim sighs, sliding his arm around his shoulders. “Alright. Alright, fine, at least we’re not on carpet...” 

Jon giggles, and then sighs, tucking his face into Tim’s shoulder. A loud pattering sound echoes throughout the room, and he can feel a puddle collecting at his feet. It’s only then that his drunken mind processes what he’s doing, and he tears up, letting out a little whimper. 

“Oh nooooo...” he whines, letting out a soft sob. “No no!” 

Tim chuckles, and then coos. “Aww, sweetie,” he says softly, gently rubbing his back. “It’s okay. We can clean you up.” 

“Noooooooo...” 

Tim laughs, but then quickly turns it into a cough, like Jon wouldn’t notice. He pouts up at him, and then looks down at the floor as the last of it trickles out of him. 

“Noooooooooo!” 

“Jon, sweet pea, you’re alright.” Tim tugs him into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I mean...at least you didn’t pee on the couch this time. This is forgivable.” 

Despite himself, Jon giggles again, burying his face into the crook of his neck. Then, he whines, because his wet jeans are chafing against his sensitive thighs, and he breaks away from Tim to scratch at them. 

“Oh boy. Yeah, let’s get you cleaned up,” Tim says, patting his hip. “You _are_ done, yeah?” 

“Mhmm!” Jon hums, leaning forward and wiping his eyes and nose on Tim’s shirt. 

“Okay, that’s gross. Don’t do that again,” Tim says with a laugh, before sighing. “Though I guess all of this was gross. Alright, into the bathtub with us, I guess.” 

“Us?” Jon perks up, rocking back and forth on his heels. His voice goes low and conspiratorial. “Tim...you wanna bathe with me?” He leans in, gasping lightly. “You wanna see me...nakey?” 

“Jon, I’ve seen you nakey before,” Tim says with a laugh. 

“Yeahhh, but you wanna do it again!” Jon says, jabbing a finger into his chest. “Mr. Stoker!” 

Tim snorts, shaking his head. “No!” he says, but then he hums, tilting his head. “Well, maybe. But it’s mostly because we’re both gross.” He wraps an arm around Jon’s waist, once again dragging him into the bathroom. “Now come on. Both of us smell like piss, geez.” 

* * *

Jon sighs, leaning back against Tim’s chest. He’s starting to feel a little less drunk, the world a little less fuzzy around him, and there’s a headache starting to seep in. 

“Tim,” he says with a heavy sigh. “This was a terrible idea.” 

Tim chuckles, pressing a kiss to Jon’s temple. “What, the wine or the peeing in my hallway?” 

Jon groans, tilting his head back so he can see Tim’s cheeky smirk. “Both. All of it. Every single bit of it.” 

Tim laughs again, and it makes Jon laugh a little as well, but then there’s a stabbing pain that shoots through his skull. He grimaces, and Tim coos sympathetically at him. 

“Aww. We should get you some medicine for that headache of yours. And a bottle of water, too.” 

“No! No more liquids,” Jon says, letting out a weak laugh. “No no no, I don’t wanna wet the bed tonight...” 

“Hmm, fair enough. Y’know, maybe we should invest in some nappies for you,” Tim teases, rubbing Jon’s chest idly. 

Jon feels his face go hot, and he turns around as much as he can in the tub to bury his face in Tim’s chest. “M-maybe I'd like that,” he mumbles, his finger moving up to trace one of Tim’s top surgery scars. Apparently he still has enough alcohol in his system to admit that. 

It’s quiet for a moment, and Jon holds his breath. Finally though, Tim hums, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Oh? Really?” 

Jon inhales sharply, lifting his head to look up at him. “Um...I mean. I dunno...sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying...” 

“No, hey, I’m not judging!” Tim says, sitting up a little, pulling Jon up with him. “I’m curious, though, you—you’re interested in—“ 

“No! Don’t finish that, please,” he says quickly, hiding his face back in Tim’s neck. “But um...yes. I am.” 

Tim hums thoughtfully. “Interesting, interesting...” He tilts his cheek onto the top of Jon’s head. “Can I ask why?” 

Jon sighs, once again tracing Tim’s scar. “I-I dunno, really. I just...the thought of it makes me feel...it makes me feel _safe_. L-like...like if I was wearing one I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. It would all be taken care of for me, and I could just...I could just _relax_.” Then, he smiles, closing his eyes. “Also, I pee a lot. So there’s that.” 

Tim chuckles. “Well, that’s true. Ol’ Tiny Bladder Sims.” 

“Don’t call me that. I’ll kill you,” Jon grumbles, and Tim laughs loud enough to make Jon wince. 

“Oh, sorry, sorry,” Tim says, petting his head gently. “No, but, um...all jokes aside, that’s kind of adorable, actually. Maybe we could do that sometime. Put you in nappies, I mean.” 

“W-wait, really?” Jon’s eyes widen, and he looks up at Tim in shock. 

“Well, yeah! We could look around, see what’s online. I’m sure they have some for adults with cute patterns _somewhere_.” 

Jon huffs, his face turning hot. “I never said I wanted cute patterns.” 

“Yeah, but I know you. I know you want cute patterns,” Tim says lightly, poking Jon on the nose. “Hmm. Forget flowers, apparently I should be bringing nappies for you on our next date.” 

“That’s...” Jon’s surprised the bath water isn’t boiling by now, given how hot he feels. “Don’t say things like that, it’s embarrassing...b-besides, I can’t ask you to buy them for me, I’m sure they’re expensive...” 

“Yeah, but you’re worth it,” Tim says softly, and no, Jon doesn’t want to cry again, he will _not_. 

“No! I’m not...you can’t...you don’t have to...” Jon swallows back a lump rising in his throat. “Tim, really. You don’t have to get them for me, I don’t need you to do that—“ 

Tim shushes him with a kiss to his forehead. “Jon. I want to,” he says, cupping his cheek and giving it a light pat. “I mean, we can talk about it more when you’re less...y’know. Hungover. But I want to do this for you. I want you to be happy.” 

Jon’s bottom lip trembles, and he can feel tears burning at the back of his eyes. He lurches forward and kisses him clumsily on the lips, wrapping his arms around his neck. When he pulls back, he presses their foreheads together, nuzzling his nose against Tim’s. A few stray tears trickle down his cheeks, and he hiccups, scrubbing them away. 

“I-I love you,” he says quietly. 

“I love you too,” Tim says softly, reaching up and gently cupping his cheek. “Are you alright, honey? That was quite the reaction...” 

“Mm...I’m, I’m okay...” Jon mumbles, shifting his head to face plant into Tim’s shoulder. “Um...thank you. I-I don’t know why I want this, I know it’s gross, I just...” 

“No, it’s okay, sweetheart. You’re not gross, promise. I think it’s rather precious, really,” Tim assures him, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. Then, he grins against his skin, and Jon’s already rolling his eyes when he says, “Besides, you’ve already wet yourself in my house multiple times now. I have no reason  _ not _ to be on board.” 

“Please stop bringing up my past humiliations,” Jon whines, pulling away again for the sake of sulking. “...and ignore the fact that one was less than an hour ago.” 

“Right, we still gotta clean that up, huh?” Tim says with a laugh. “I guess we should get out of the tub, then?” 

Jon nods, grunting softly. “Water’s getting cold anyway,” he mumbles, drawing his legs to his chest. Still, he waits for Tim to get out of the tub first, watching him as he pulls the drain on the tub and wraps a towel around his waist. He likes watching Tim move, seeing his muscles ripple under his skin. 

“Hey,” Tim says, and Jon drags his eyes away from his legs to see that he’s offering a hand to him. 

Jon takes it with a goofy smile. “I have a hot boyfriend,” he sings, mostly to himself, but he does like the blush spreading across Tim’s face when he hears it. 

“Oh, do you now?” 

“Yes. The hottest boyfriend,” Jon says, letting himself fall wholeheartedly into Tim’s chest, knowing he’ll catch him. 

He does indeed catch him, and he pulls a towel around him as well, drying his hair with quick, funny little motions. “Well. That’s good to hear. But I think my boyfriend could compete with yours.” 

“Absolutely not!” Jon says with a pout, even as Tim wraps the towel around him really nicely. It’s like being swaddled, he thinks, before chasing the thought away. “Your boyfriend’s gross.” 

“Heyyyyy,” Tim says in a perfect imitation of a disappointed dad. “Don’t say mean things about my boyfriend, I love him.” 

Jon sticks his tongue out at him. “He’s an idiot. A fool, even.” 

“So is yours, try again,” Tim says with a laugh. 

Jon groans, dropping his head back against his chest. “Whatever. Your dumb boyfriend has a headache,” he mumbles. “Can you remind me why I had that third glass again?” 

“God, I dunno, mate. The better question is why I poured it for you.” 

“Hmm, you’re right, this  _ is _ your fault.” 

“That is  _ not _ what I said,” Tim says, huffing out a laugh. “Disrespectful thing to say to your hot boyfriend.” 

“I said hot, not blameless,” Jon says cheekily, kissing Tim’s chest. “Besides, who else am I gonna blame? Myself?” 

“Your tiny bladder, maybe?” 

“Okay, shut up,” Jon groans, getting on his tiptoes to lightly headbutt Tim’s mouth. He receives a kiss for his effort, and he smiles. 

But then Tim’s scooping him up into his arms, cradling him against his chest. Jon squawks indignantly, and he squeezes his eyes shut against the spinning world, dropping his head against his shoulder. His stomach lurches, and he groans, patting Tim’s chest. 

“Tim, I’m gonna throw up on you,” he says. 

“Wait, really?” 

Jon gives himself a moment to steady himself. “...no,” he says finally. “But warn me next time...my head’s still spinning...” 

“Awww, sorry honey. Let’s get you some medicine and get you into the bed, yeah?” Tim says, whisking him out of the bathroom and heading to the bedroom, passing the puddle on the floor. 

“Oh...but don’t you want me to help clean the hallway?” Jon asks, even as he’s laid down on the bed. 

“No, you need to rest,” Tim says, patting him on the head. He draws away to go over to his dresser, tugging on a pair of boxers. “I’ll take care of it.” 

“But Tim, I was the one who—“ 

He quickly receives a pair of boxers and one of Tim’s shirts to the face, interrupting his protests. Jon huffs, but he begrudgingly starts to put them on. 

“Jon, you almost threw up on me,” Tim says lightly, sitting down on the bed next to him. “I really don’t think you’re equipped to handle cleaning right now.” 

Jon pouts, even as he lays down under the covers. “Okay...” 

Tim smiles, reaching over to stroke his hair. “If you’re really pressed about it, you can make it up to me by not peeing in my bed,” he says. 

“No promises,” Jon jokes back, before sighing, letting his eyes fall closed. 

“Rude,” Tim murmurs, but there’s amusement in his voice. “Try not to fall asleep before I can get some water in you, okay?” 

“Mhmm,” Jon hums, curling in tighter on himself. 

Tim laughs, low and soft. “Okay buddy. I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Jon mumbles, the world melting away from him.

* * *

“Hey. Jon.” 

Jon groans, a painful pulsing behind his eyes. He opens them to see Tim holding pills out to him, a bottle of water in his other hand. He whines and sits up begrudgingly, taking the pills and shoving them in his mouth. 

Tim chuckles lightly as he hands over the water. “I thought it’d take longer to get you upright.” 

Jon takes a big gulp and groans, shoving it back against Tim’s chest. “Faster it gets done, the faster you let me sleep.” 

“True,” Tim says, sitting down on the bed next to him. “Can I convince you to drink a little more before you fall back asleep?” 

Jon whines childishly, but he sits back up and takes the bottle, downing about half of it. Then, he pushes it at Tim, before dropping back down onto the mattress. 

“Okay, cool. Cool cool. Thank you,” he says with a laugh, putting the lid back on and setting it on the bedside table. He lays down on the bed and pulls Jon close, tucking the blanket around both of them. 

“Mm. I love you,” Jon says softly, burying his face into Tim’s neck. 

Tim rubs his back lightly, brushing a kiss against the side of his head. “I love you too. Sleep well, Jon.” 

“You too...” Jon murmurs, kissing a ticklish part of Tim’s neck. “Ni ni, Tim.” 

He falls back asleep to Tim’s giggling, curled up safe in his warm arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> the second half of this fic kinda got away from me ngl can you tell 
> 
> find me on tumblr at [twi-writes](https://twi-writes.tumblr.com/) feel free to yell at me FHLJKSDJFLKSDF


End file.
